Have you ever?

Have you ever missed somebody so much that the thought of them not with you hurts your stomach? It hurts you so much that every time you think about it, it brings you down to your knees. You can't cry or grieve about it. Cause you're afraid that once you start, you won't be able to stop and it'll consume you. Destroy you. 
Have you ever hated yourself for letting somebody hold that much power over you? That them not being there makes your steady feet shake and bring you down. But then you wonder if they feel the same way. But it's the not knowing that hurts the most. The worst.  
Have you ever tried to distract yourself? Through delusions, false pretense, fake expectations, false hope, unrealistic behavior, useless hobbies, mindless people, senseless actions, imaginary problems, temporary solutions? Have you?
Have you ever wondered what will happen when you'll have to address the situation head on? If you're capable to do so. Then again you don't know what the situation is. What might happen, what could happen or even what has happened. Frustrating? Definitely. But you'd rather deal with hypothesis than reality. Have you ever felt that way?

Have you ever felt so lonely that even a midst a crowd you manage to hear your own thoughts running through your head? Like all that noise around you dulls down to almost a mute and all you're left with is the blaring sound of silence that you were once running from. It then becomes as if you're in two different places at one. You're still there in the crowd smiling, waving, making small talk. And you're also there in 'The Forest' as I like to call it, alone with your thoughts so deep, that sometimes you have to remind yourself that it's all in your mind. 

Have you ever felt as if everything around you is just temporary? Well it is. Needless to say we, however , find ways to convince ourselves otherwise till an extend when that lie becomes our truth. But these moments of heart break, despair, pain, loneliness, these real emotions wake you up. Depending on who are are, it even changes you and your beliefs, for good. Note how 'Good' is subjective. And you can't help but wonder to yourself, ' Is it ? Am I really changing for the better. Or to make myself feel better? ' .
Have you ever realized that once you go to your Forest, you never really come back? A part of you will always reside there. Happy. But most of you will be guided back to 'real life' where you'll once again live, learn and love. Hurt and be hurt. Because people around you will tell you that is this normal. And that it is part of life. But you now know better. 
You now know that no matter what they say or do it'll never bring back the part you lost. Might be in the form of trust, confidence, positivism or even hope. But you'll not fight the norms. You'll smile and nod showing you agree. Cause let's face it. You'd rather be done with them as soon as possible so you can go back to the Forest and just...be. 
Have you ever wondered where the story ends and how it all began? I do.