You wish you could feel its lovely golden warmth. But you can't escape from the selfishness it draws as well. Or the pain. Or the worry. The insecurities. The loneliness. But most importantly the vulnerabilities.
It will consume you sooner or later. There no point trying to evade the inevitable. What's worse is denial. Trying to convince yourself otherwise, that this isn't happening.For people who have just gotten up from the ashes, or from nearly the edge of insanity, feeling again is hard. Not impossible. But damn near close.
It's hard because you know how much they can burn you. They don't have to be standing too far away for you to feel lonely. Or say hurtful words for it to hurt. Or look away for you to feel invisible. You're afraid of what they might do to you when they aren't trying.
God forbid the day comes when they decide to try.
