Your life isn't easy. Whose is? It pushes you to edges you didn't know existed. Its shows you things you didn't know you could see. It enables you to feel what you thought could not be felt. And many a times these brief periods where, you are essentially exposed in the realm of your own limitless possibilities, prove to be more than you can absorb. At least on your own. Solution you ask? Human nature will compel you to confide in your partners. Talk to them about it. But little do you realize the complications you bring upon yourself.
You see the tings you feel will never ever be comprehensible to anyone but yourself. What people mean when they say 'I know how you feel' is that ' I understand the circumstance and how I would react to it. You are irrelevant to that but I'll still pretend to give a fuck'. Now you might think that I am wrong and maybe so but believe me when I say everyone cares at first, it's the ones who still care after the fist hundreds that are true. Plot twist? They don't exist.
People who you think 'like' helping you out are either killing time or making themselves feel better by helping out a ratchet hot mess. You know this because what follows is them telling you things like 'you know you should be more strong', 'you should show less emotions', or classics like ' I don't think you're being your strongest'.
So now they have a legal patent to put such horrendous stamps on you. Because you invited them to do so. You cannot hand down the scripts of a movie to be read and not expect criticism. So can you complain about it? No. But learn from it? Most definitely.
See when you bring others into your mindset, not only do they bring their own projections of themselves but projections of you too. So the 'advice' you'll be getting is simply them stating what they think you should do cause of how they view you. Do you really want to give someone that luxury?
The best way to deal with all he voices in your head clawing at your brain is to put on a shield of indifference. Not channeled towards anyone but towards your own demons who will be telling you to do so so much. It's better to get back up on your own no matter how much harder. That way you'll know for sure that those suckers inside your head have been put to rest because only you yourself hold the key to that.
You'd rather be laying down on the floor by the bed at night, facing the window and feel the cold beneath you. You'd feel much empowered to to be crying off your face within bound walls then be exposed. To hear nothing but the dull sound of your own sobbing overshadowed by the acute noises the voices conjure. To be left alone and awake with your thoughts at night , not knowing how the night ends, that's the climb that we ought to appreciate.
There are always going to be more mountains. And you're always going to want to move them or move around them. The choice should be yours and yours solely. So that years from now when you look back you will not regret. The thing you want to remember though is the climb. How you over came it all alone and confused and against all odds. To be laying there at night with a blade in your hand and not cut yourself, to have pills around you and not take them, or likes as such, that is self achievement. That is resurrection.
